" I learned that it is the weak who are cruel , and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong . Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity. "

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♥ Tuesday, October 04, 2011

If only you were mine.

Ok hi people, I'm totally screwed by the blogger apps on my phone because I accidentally deleted my previous post. Zz, so fucked up.

Anw, it's the start of the October now, guess everyone's hoping to be a good one? But unfortunately, it doesn't seems to be a good month for me, maybe? Starting of the month I almost lost someone that's important to me. You know how does it feels to lost someone you're so close to? The feelings totally sucks, I've been very upset over this matter for few days, I even cried in the public when I'm with my friends. Like ohgod, you know how much this person meant to me?
Ok, let me elaborate the whole story, if you wish to know.
On the 1st Oct, which is a Saturday, I was actually feeling very happy because of some stuffs happened on the previous day, until I received a text from this person in the morning on Saturday. And I totally freaked out, I got so so so angry and mad that I can't stop complaining to my friends and those ratings on twitter. But I tried my best to control my temper all the way to changi, until I really can't take it that I called Xiangling up and complain to her, and I burst out crying, yes in the public at changi airport! Can you imagine like so many foreigners looking at me or maybe they're thinking that my family was overseas or smth and I cried terribly? Lol. But I got my mood settled down after awhile, and continue with my studies at changi. Going off at 8plus in the night time to bedok over Gina's place, thought that maybe I could stable my mood for at least that night. But I was wrong, because I was staying over at Gina's place at bedok, and it's my virgin of staying over outside (ok I know I'm a mummy-girl for 17 years of my life and it doesn't includes those camps or overseas trip from school.), so my mum was over-protective towards me. She kept calling me again and again, it's like one hour call one time? Abit over, right? And, I was actually meeting MarcusLim under the block because Gina and him are living at the same block. So when I haven't even really started to talk to him, my mum called and start to quarrel with me on the phone, which spoils my mood even further. I was alrd feeling very upset for the whole day since morning and at night I still have to tolerate her fucking nonsense? So I have no choice to go back up to Gina's house while Marcus went off first. It was alrd 11plus going to 12am by then, I wasn't asleep yet as I'm still whatsapp-ing with Xiangling, until I really couldn't take it anymore so Xiangling asked me to called MarcusLim up to meet him. So I did, I called him up and was crying on the phone telling him what happen, and asked him to text me back again when he was otw home. And around 2am plus Marcus was finally coming back, went down to meet him and expect him to talk to me but guess what happen?! HE WAS DRUNK!!! I had a hard time "playing catching" with this fellow, I swear he's damn troublesome! Wanted to go here and there and I'm not familiar with the place, so I had no choice but to follow everywhere he go. He was suppose to accompany me and ended up I was the one who accompany him, so I had a really long time asking him to go home as it was raining heavily, it's ok if it's raining, but I keep asking him to go home because he brought me to somewhere that doesn't have a shelter if we were to go home, so I have to wait for the rain to be smaller. And finally the rain stops for awhile, pulling him up from the chair to drag him home but he too heavy ah, lol! Then rain starts again loh, sian 1/2! But I managed to drag him back at 5plus in the morning, actually I have to thank him too, for giving me a hard time following him everywhere he go and makes me super exhausted. Wanted to bring Marcus up to his doorstep because he just live on top of Gina, plus he was drunk that he cant even walk properly, but he insist me to go home first. So I did, and I was so tired that I immediately fell asleep, woke up at 7am, slept for only 2hours. Prepared and going out for study, and I received another text from that person again. Seeing his name on my phone I was really shocked, and thought it was smth good until I open the msg. It disappoints me even more, and somehow hurting too. This brings my mood even down, didn't have the mood to study. So was slacking away for one hour plus and I went off alone back to Yewtee as I have tuition while Gina, Eunice and Steven continue with their studies. A long ride of train from Tampines to Yewtee, luckily there's Xiangling accompany me to whatsapp so I won't fall asleep. Reached home and I had tuition, straight away went to sleep till 8pm plus and my mum was back. Again she starts to make a big fuss, totally pissed. But the next day, which was Monday and I had my chemistry, biology and history paper, luckily that matter didn't affect my mood for my papers.
Finally all 3 papers down and was at lot studying with Gina until I see smth, which makes me so fucking happy! Shall not mention what is it in case some stalker come stalk my blog. Hehehe!
But another stuff is bothering me again, which makes me understand what's really going on.

Ok enough of my grandmother stories. Shall talk about my exams! Had 3 papers one shot in a day on monday, quite satisfied with my chemistry, but as for biology, I leave too many blanks and I guess my bio will pull down my chemistry marks :( Sigh. And I had maths paper 1 today, still manageable! Hehe, gonna go out to study with the same girls tmr for maths paper 2! Two more papers to go and I'm free!
Ok guess my post too long alrd, shall stop here. Bye!


Now I finally understand what's really going on. Guess I'm too dumb to fall for that, since this is what you want, then just go ahead. So what if I miss you? You won't even give a damn about it because you've showed me the reality. Takecare.