" I learned that it is the weak who are cruel , and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong . Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity. "
January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / June 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / February 2010 / March 2010 / April 2010 / May 2010 / June 2010 / July 2010 / August 2010 / September 2010 / October 2010 / November 2010 / December 2010 / January 2011 / February 2011 / March 2011 / April 2011 / May 2011 / June 2011 / July 2011 / August 2011 / October 2011 / November 2011 / December 2011 / January 2012 / February 2012 / March 2012 / May 2012 / January 2013 /
Its not how long we stayed together that matters , but how deep we loved each other even for the shortest time we've spent together .
How much more time do i need to heal my wound :/
Memories ALWAYS flashed back whenever i heard that song when we're tgt , even though i tried not to think about it .
Anw , went to school alone today as i need some time alone to think about smth , first time you know ! I always want people to accompany me to school everyday , this is the first time i request going to school myself . Improved ! (Y) Met Bokmay and Yuanxin at mama shop , walked in to school with Yuanxin while Bokmay went to wait for Gina . Raining in the morning , makes me feel sleepy in class today , and i sleep till like so comfortable ! :D I drank the whole bottle of GreenTea while walking in to school and reached class , feel like going to toilet but i bear with it because i was too lazy to get up from my sleep and went to the toilet :/ So , whatever , recess time , ate and went up to hall for class photo taking . Then went back to class for maths lesson , again . Got back our test paper , i failed like .... -.- cmi . Funniest thing was Kristine's paper , she wrote so many nonsense and hand it up . Quarreling with teacher to get back my friend's paper , funny ! Biology lesson next , busy copying the notes to my new note book and then copied the answer for worksheet . History next , did some work and dismissed . Bused over to lot1 with Gina for lunch at KFC , Jane and XiaoQian came later . Ate and bused home , while others went to YewTee Point for Gina's IC photo . Its like not fair , Yuanxin and Gina so fast got the letter alrd , while i have to wait till August or September on last year before i can get my IC ! :@ And i always like to "haolian" my IC to them because they dont have ! :P But now cant anymore -.- LOL !
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Wonder when will i really be fine , everything just doesn't went to the way i wanted . I walked back to our memories and tested myself whether i would teared again , its almost , but i controlled it from rolling down my cheecks , and so i did it . Maybe its just temporary , it may not last , or maybe its just for this time . Who knows when next time round i walked back to our memories , i wouldn't teared again . Im finally being quite independent nowadays beause of you and friends , because ,
I always want friends to go to the toilet with me even though i just want to wash my hands , but for now , i went alone .
I always want Kristine to go to school with me in the morning , but for today , im requesting to go to school alone .
I always want people to accompany me to take the same bus when going back home , but for now , i dont mind taking bus alone .
I always want people to late for school with me , but for now , i dont mind being late myself .
I always want friends to go outside the classroom with me standing at the door or the corridor , but for now , i would rather stand outside alone .
I always want to follow Kristine wherever she go , but for now , i will walk seperate way with her if we doesnt want to go to the same place .
I always want at least a friend to went to another friend's seats in class with me whenever i want to talk to a person or ask smth , though its in class , i just want someone to accompany me , but for now , i will go alone .
I always want friend to go up to the teacher to ask for smth with me , but for now , i went up alone .
I dont know why i would become like this too , this year really changed me alot . I really miss those times in 2009 , im much happier than this year , seriously . I tried not to let the memories flash back , i tried to let our memories fade away , i tried to let my feelings towards you fade away , i tried to change myself to a better person , i tried ! I really did tried ! But whenever i told my friends that im really trying , they would always answer me saying that , " yes , you did , but you didnt try hard enough . " Why ? Why do people always answered me that when they dont know how much effort i've alrd put in ? Why do they always said that im not trying hard enough ? Why ? I know all of you had been giving me many chances because all of you said that i deserve to get another chance , you all believe that i'll change thats why i deserved it . Sometimes things doesn't really go the way i wanted , but i've never been like this before . Im getting more and more absurd , i took everything for granted because i always get what i want . I dont know how to cherish things and friends around me because all of you are giving me chances again and again to make me feel that its okay to did the wrong things again because im getting another chance anyway . But after all these incidents happened , i realise that im wrong . I start to cherish things around me , i've learnt my lesson after i lost my Love and friends . And finally , i realised that friends are more important than love , people always likes to ask this question , " If you have to choose between friends and love , which one will you choose ? " And i would answered , " Huhh , i dont know , can choose both ? " But , if people ask me this question again , i would definitely answer them , " Friends of course . " Friends are for a life time , they always be there for you whenever you're down or happy , they always share happiness with you . Love cant last forever , maybe to some people yes , but to me , i dont believe in forever . Love are come and go , when guys wants to woo you , they did everything to make you happy and touched , but when their feeling faded , they would just dumped you aside . Friends dont , thats was only my opinion , i dont know whats other people's thinking . If only i could turn the hand of time , i would rather choose to stay in the year of 2009 , stop at every moment because im enjoying my perfect life . Im really getting very tired and sick alrd , wont you all feel tired at all ? I feel like throwing everything aside and sleep all the way , the best way for me to escape reality was sleeping . I would dream of things i wanted in real life , and it always seems so real that i really dont want to wake up . Yes , like what you've said , enough is enough , everything its the past now . Because you finally get what you want and i dont , sometimes i was thinking alone that , issit my fault ? Sometimes i regret for talking to you at first , if i didnt talked to you , all these heartbreaks wont happen at all . And i wont get to know your friends and lose my friends , but sometimes , i thought that it could also be a nice thing because i finally learnt how to cherish things and not take things for granted . At least we once had a beautiful memories , because of these memories , i think that everything is worth it . Its my fault and own wrong doings for all these , wonder when will everything be back to normal again ...