♥, Zhenru @undescribablelov-e
I'll be strong and hold back my tears, because i know no matter how hard i cry , this love is not coming back anymore.
With loves,♥
Me, Myself & I
" I learned that it is the weak who are cruel , and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong . Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity. "
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♥ Saturday, February 27, 2010
哭过就好 , 伤和痛都会走的 , 我要谢谢你让我长大了.
Currently so bored now ! ): Just finish eating my dinner . Sigh , reached home about 10plus yesterday night . Was chatting with my mother tongue teacher and Yuanxin while waiting for my parents to come over and fetch me . Such a nice and funny talk with him ! Finally parents came , and to think that they actually came up and look for me ! I was shocked when i saw them , and i know i was dead ._. I knew they would tell teacher that i didnt study and i was very lazy all those craps . And indeed , LOL ! Whatever , parents drove me to coffee shop to eat while Yuanxin went home . Ate and parents drove me home , bathe and etc. On com after that , chat on msn with two mad guy that made me laugh like mad ! Getting bored after that so off com and went to sleep at 3am ): Woke up at 11plus today , bathe and eat , tuition after that . And after tuition straight went to sleep till 5plus . Lol . Alright , shall get back to my sleep now , im tired again :/
我从来都不说不 , 不是因为我愿意 , 我从来都不生气 , 不是因为我没有脾气 , 但全都是因为我爱你 .
♥ Friday, February 26, 2010
" They say that time heals all wounds , but all its done so far was giving me more time to think about how much I miss you . "
Currently at Yuanxin's house posting now ! (; School like normal for today ? Woke up and get prepared , i didnt wake up late this time ! ^^ But Kristine didnt went to school as she's not feeling well ): So trained to school alone , and just nice when i board the bus , i realise that i forgotten to wear/bring my contact lens to school ! >;( Saw Bokmay when walking to the bus stop , bused to school tgt with her to meet Gina . Walked in to school tgt , had same routine everyday . After silent reading , sat down there to wait for our turn to get back to class . Yuanxin and Bokmay totally joker ! Made me laugh till my eyes are teary and my stomach couldn't take it !! Damn , went up to class , had maths lesosn , seriously damn irritating ! My maths teacher was so damn unreasonable , i stand up , she said i was blocking the people behind . So i sat on the table because my classmate was sitting on my chair . And this time i didnt block anybody , in fact , nobody is even listening to her and doing their work ! She said im blocking people and i was very stubborn cause i kept refuse to sit on the chair -.- You know , i stand up , she not happy , i sit down she also not happy . Then im listening to her and staying awake in class ( sitting on table ) , she scolded me , i sleep in class , she also scolded me ! WTF SHE WANT ?! -.- So argued back with her , but im tired after that , went behind to sleep . Woke up and DnT lesson next , boring ! ~ Recess and SS lesson . Dismissed after that , bused to Yuanxin's house with her . Bought the cream for pasta and she cooked for me ! ^^ How sweet right ?! But i didnt manage to eat finish ): Watched TV , and she forced me to bathe -.- Like so fun only ! So went to bathe and now posting . Going back school later for the damn parents meeting programme -.- Irritating uh ! But lucky i asked my parents to fetch me after that at night , dont need to go home myself ! :D Hohozxc , and i can asked them to go to NTUC to buy smth for me to eat :P Bomb their money ttm later ! :D * Happy Happy * ! Alright , off to watch TV now ! Bye peeps (:
I thought that most painful feeling is having no one but yourself , but i guess there's more of that . Because the most painful feeling is you thought u have everything , and then when one day you wake up with nothing .
♥ Thursday, February 25, 2010
" Letting go of someone dear to you is hard , but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder . "
Its been quite some time since i posted . Because i still didnt get all the photos from Candy yet ): I think still have one or two more . Anw , things has changed for better recently (: And im happy happy ! Although not all problems/stress are settled , but at least most of it . Been waking up late nowadays , i dont know why ): * Saded ! * Almost going late everytime , and have to cab to school , the worst thing is i dont know why nowadays the cab totally went missing ! I waited for 20mins or more and there's still no cab ! It always have alot cabs in the morning than afternoon or night , but now ... -.- Okay , whatever . Was having quite lots of fun in school today , but i woke up late again in the morning ): Lucky that i didnt late , sleep through for the whole maths lesson . And my maths teacher seriously irritates me alot alot , not only me , the whole class too ! Irritating ! After recess was free period , Yuanxin bought balloons from the bookshop and we was playing with it ! Like so fun and behaving like kids only ! Next was mother tongue , seriously cmi , i was laughing so hard that making my stomach pain . Its been like so so long i didnt laugh till like this alrd , Yuanxin was a joker lah please , shooting mother tongue teacher like so cute only ~ ! Drawing funny things on the whiteboard , using balloons to welcome teacher and lots of funny things that i really cannot take it ! Dismissed after that , straight went home , so super guai nowadays . And then on com , check facebook notifications , see who online on msn , off to sleep after that . LOL ! Alright , end here (:
" No matter how painful it is , no matter how long it takes , i'll endure with all the pains . Time means nothing , i'll wait for you as long as it takes . Even if i have to cry alone every night before i sleep , even if i have to smile at the most painful time . "
♥ Saturday, February 20, 2010
" The best way to escape reality without running is smiling , even though it is obviously fake "
Back Back Back ! ^^ I dont know why , i was so happy today ! Maybe its because i made up my mind ? * Thumbs Up ! * Anw , woke up at 2plus today , used com till 4plus and went to prepare . And i cant believe that im actually used up 2 whole hour just to put on my fake eye lash to ONE EYE ! >;( Mad ! Keep dropping out and making my eye so painful and itchy whenever i blink my eye ): Whatever , went out with siblings , grandma and maid at 7pm . Cab to JurongPoint to meet parents and other workers ^^ *Happy Happy ! * Went to my parent's shop to meet few workers first while waiting my parents and other workers to arrive from Bugis . And finally they arrived -.- I was so hungry , went down to the restaurant to meet all of them ( Hmm , pictures of everybody will be post up when i get the pictures from Candy ^^ ) Went to VIP room ! Omg , so happy because inside got Karaoke :D I didnt have much pictures of the food because i was busy eating and i forgotten about taking photos of the dishes ): But i will post it up once i get those pictures from Candy :D All the food doesn't suit my taste except for the Shark Fin . LOL ! Ate finish and sing ! Took group photo before leaving (: Laugh alot too , hohozxc ! More pictures coming up on next post , maybe (: Stay tune alright ! :D Bye !
" I thought that by telling myself and everyone else that I hated you . Sooner or later I would come to believe it , but now i realize that by lying , it makes me want you even more . "
♥ Friday, February 19, 2010
" Avoiding something doesn't always mean that you hate it , it could also mean that you want it but you just know that it isn't right . "
Been thinking alot for the past few days , confusing too . Didnt know what to do , didnt know what i want , didnt know what i need and what im thinking yesterday . So skip school today just to sleep and avoid all the reality for awhile , thought of what i really want , what i really need and do now . Talked to number of people that could give me advices , and it really helps alot ^^
Been thinking alot for the past few days , confusing too . Didnt know what to do , didnt know what i want , didnt know what i need and what im thinking yesterday . So skip school today just to sleep and avoid all the reality for awhile , thought of what i really want , what i really need and do now . Talked to number of people that could give me advices , and it really helps alot ^^
" When you're finally able to joke about things that once broke your heart , it means that you understand whats the meaning of being mature in love . "
You once said that you really love me alot ,
You once said that you wont leave me ,
You once said that im the only one ,
You once said that you will be there for me whenever i need you ,
You once said that you will protect me ,
You once said that you wont break my heart .
You said you love me , but you leave me and my heart broken into pieces .
When im alrd used to being loved by you , yet you hurt me .
When im alrd start to believe that you wont break my heart , yet you broke it into million pieces .
When im alrd entrust my heart to you , yet you threw it back to me .
When im alrd used to being held by your hands , yet you let it go .
When im alrd start to trust you , yet you disappointed me .
When im alrd used to your presense , yet you left me alone .
So Love , i know you wont be back anymore , but i will always be here for you .
" Nothing is really over till the moment you stop trying . "
Boy , Its been 1 month 5 days that i live without you , although im still loving you as much , thinking of you everyday . But , i've decided that im gonna to put you aside and concentrate with my studies because i've neglect my studies since the starting of the year . I didnt put in much effort for my studies because i was happily playing with you , busy glancing at you in class for the first week . And for the next following week that i didnt even bother to study because i was missing you , thinking of you and wishing that there's miracle happen . Sometimes you've been giving me hope inch by inch , but i realise that there's nothing happen in the end . Yes , i didnt attend to school today because im avoiding you , i want to be alone for today to thought over what i should really do now . I should just stop talking to you , stop texting you and stop looking at you in class even though i really miss you and wants to talk to you alot . I did this doesn't mean that i've given up on you , its just that i think im wasting too much time on you and didnt care about my studies and stuffs . I've been telling quite number of my friends about you , complain things to them and telling them how much i miss you . But no matter how much things had changed now , im still gonna thanks you for all the beautiful memories you gave me in the past 3 months , 2 weeks & 4 days . Please always remember that i still love you as much , (L)
Its really hard to hold on to the feelings that you have always held , to treat someone ordinary when in fact he is very special , to move on your own with an empty and totally wounded heart , to smile even in deep pain , to let go of the person you dreamt forever with , to accept reality of being just friends , and to give up everything though inside your heart you still wanna try .
♥ Wednesday, February 17, 2010
When will everything back to normal ?
Just woke up from my super nice dream ): Anw , school starts today , woke up and called Kristine like per normal . Went to have breakfast with her at YewTee point food court , after that trained to school . Saw our form teacher and Kristine dont wanna take the same bus as him so we missed it and we late -.- But i've late for four times alrd , and i dont wanna get detention form again ): Slacked outside school and went in at 8am , went back to the class without taking any forms because no DM was standing at the gate there and didnt went to office to take forms :D Went back to class , lesson like normal . And of course , i slept in class again . My nose was making me irritated at DnT lesson , dust flying everywhere -.- Recess , then maths lesson , and my maths teacher as so noisy and unreasonable -.- Nagging non stop at me asking me to do her work when i was sleeping like so comfortable only . Totally pissed me off ,plus i was having abit of sore throat and i still have to shout at her -.- Biology and History , dismissed . Bused to cck inter with Kristine , Gina and Yuanxin , had our lunch at MosBurger . Then bused home , others went to Kristine's house . Took out my contact lens and straight away sleep , i was having a super nice dream and my irritating nose makes me woke up ): Sigh .
I cant stop thinking about you , sigh .
♥ Tuesday, February 16, 2010
This year is totally sickening
Didnt post for quite some days and actually i dont plan to post today -.-
Anw , Happy Belated Chinese New Year & V'day (;
Did things like what people did on Chinese new year , visit relatives , eat , gamble and get red packets . Been sleeping quite late these few days , sleep at around 3-4am plus during these few days and neverless , ate and used com on the late midnight . But the worst thing is , after i ate so many heaty stuffs , i didnt drink water and yet i eat more and more -.- So its like finally , im sick now -.- Having flu and headache when i woke up this afternoon . My nose irritates me alot ! But i still continue to eat what i want , just ordered Mac'D and i regret ordering it . Because whatever i eat now has no taste ! ): And i think im going to have sore throat soon , arghh ! Tmr school starting and i have to go to school in this condition ?! -.- Guess i have to sleep in class again , classmates told me that classroom has become my second home because when the moment i reached class and sat down , i straight away lie down on the table already -.- And i think back , its like okay , quite true ._. Lol , and i hate teachers knocking my table waking me up when i sleep till so soundly and i was having a beautiful dream -.- Okay , whatever . Enough of my craps , i think i wanna go back to sleep soon , i cannot take it anymore , my nose was super irritating ! ):
♥ Friday, February 12, 2010
When will all these heartbreaks end ?
Finally im back to post after so many days ! (: Chinese New Year/Valentine Day coming in two days time ! But i've got no mood to celebrate all these ): Sigh .
When will everything end ? I seriously dont know what to do now .
You told me that nobody is even leaving me , im really speechless .
What about her ? She dont even treat me as close friend anymore .
I even prepared for everything , and you text me to made me changed my mind .
When will everything be back as before ?
I've text her saying sorry to her , she didnt even reply one .
And i didnt even mention anything to him about her anymore .
Now he's telling me that he can treat me like before , i didnt agree to it , because i dont want people to asked things about this whole matter .
He finally talk to me first , but is just because of this whole matter .
I told him everything , maybe he said that just to comfort me .
But i suddenly changed my mind , how i wish he can treat me like before , im confused now .
I dont know what more can i do now . He was treating me like before yesterday , but is different now .
Or issit im thinking too much , should i just tell him what i want now ? Sigh .
Wont be posting for tmr , maybe . I posted today because my blog looks damn dead . Okay , bye readers .
The day before Valentine , heartbreaks .
♥ Sunday, February 07, 2010
Let me be the one who say iloveyou to you
Im getting lazy to post nowadays :x , because i realise that i almost did the same thing everyday . Woke up at 11plus today , ate and everything . Get prepared and went out around 3plus with my sister . Bused to Bangkit to buy my lens , had our lunch there too . And i seriously feel so embarrassing eating with my sister , LOL ! She at first drop her knife one the floor , we were eating western food at coffee shop . Then next while she was cutting her chicken , she drop the piece of chicken and when she swept it away , it hit my leg -.- I told her that next time she cant go to the restaurant to eat at all . Omg , she was eating so slow and keep laughing dont know for what . Waited for her to eat finish , and bused back home . And tried on my lens , it looks so ... Dont know how to say -.- Alright , stop here , im tired alrd . Bye .
Girl , Im really very sorry ):
♥ Friday, February 05, 2010
I've got sixth sense ! ; Cross Country sucks ! ):
Im back back back ! :D Im so tired now ! Same routine , woke up and get prepared . Trained to school alone today cause i woke up late , again . Meet Yuanxin at mama shop , Kristine came late , its like part of my fault ? :/ Cause i woke up late and woke her up late too . Had some talk about the cross country today , but im sleeping because im way too tired . Actually planned to sleep at maths lesson , but in the end i was crapping away . Im so proud of myself because i answered a maths question correctly ! LOL ! Okay , thats lame -.- After maths was DnT , did practical . Dismissed at 10.20am , went over to coffee shop to eat , with Xiangling , Jane , Yuanxin and Gina while Eunice and Kristine went home . After eating finish and we bused to west coast , played at the playground there while waiting for Kristine&co. and Gavin&co. to come . After that Gavin&co. came , watch them shuffle , like so cute ! :D Slacked around , and went to gather . After that Kristine&co. came , just nice . Walk to the meeting point , but half way through rained ): And then me and Kristine ran back to the shelter , but the rain is getting more and more heavy . Me and Kristine was wet ! Yes , whole body wet ! Like just done bathing ! ): Wait till the rain stopped , and we walked to the meeting point again . Quee up at behind , and finally is upper sec girls turn . And slowly my hair finally dried up ! But we walked instead of run , Chatting and joking around . Saw Xiangling half way , and request to take picture ! :D The sea scenery was like , omg ! So nice ! The breeze so comfortable ! But Eunice ran all the way to the end first because she was so happy -.- Left me , Kristine and Xinyi slowly walking and enjoying the breeze ! And when we were reaching the end , then it start raining again ! Argh ! So me , Xinyi and Kristine ran all the way to the end . Went to get our belongings , and walked to Mac to avoid the rain , but we still get wet !! >;( My hair its like finally dried up and its wet again ! Fed up ! Went over to mac to meet Gina and Jane , ate and sat there chatting . I was so cold sitting there -.- But around 5plus went out of mac to find Xiangling and Yuanxin , went to the playground and played . But i didnt play , because i dont know why , my mood suddenly changed again ): Issit because i miss him too much ? NO ! Dont think alrd ! Okay , stop ! Others playing and i was helping them to keep their things . But awhile then need to go home alrd , so walked to bus stop . Zhangjian and Xiangling was making a fool there that made us laugh like mad ! The bus was like so long and finally came , bused to batok and took train to cck . Bused home with Kristine , while Eunice and Xinyi went to lot to buy smth . Kristine accompanied me took one big round because i've got lots of things to tell her ! Its like 9242466447567310 years didnt have a heart talk with her alrd ): But lucky i didnt get so emotional , i didnt cry ! Good good , got improve ! Instead , im laughing away saying that i've sixth sense ! But it seems like its the truth you know ! :D Okay , whatever , gtg now ! Bye peeps ! (:
♥ Thursday, February 04, 2010
I guess my heart has alrd numb
Back to blog ! Not really in the mood today . Woke up at 5plus , get prepared and everything . Met Kristine at inter and bused to school , met Yuanxin at mama shop and walk in to school together . Had daily routine , after that was Maths lesson , eas playing around in class , and went to sleep after that because i suddenly felt very tired . Chemistry after that , went to lab and had experiment . Then history , had test . Recess stay in class , ate and then watch classmates playing smth dangerous but fun . Next was two free period , was others played cards . And mother tongue next , almost did nothing but listening to teacher nag and nag . Dismissed at 1.50pm , meet Xinyi at concourse , went to accompany Eunice with Xinyi . Bused to IMM to meet Kristine after that , walked around and cab home myself . Just woke up by someone's call that makes me laughing like mad -.- Lol , okay . Bye .
♥ Wednesday, February 03, 2010
There's nothing i can do at all
Im back . Today everything just doesnt went well to me , woke up late today by Jedrek's msg again . Prepared and etc. , bused to school alone . Met Yuanxin at mama shop and went into school together . First lesson was english , sleep for the whole two lesson because i was damn tired . CME next , chatting around with usual people . DnT after that , had a test , totally cmi . After test continue with our practical , after DnT was recess . Didnt went to canteen , went up to class instead . Nowadays i kept having my recess in class with those boys and girls mention in my previous post , they brought my share too ! :D Ate and sleep till next lesson , maths . Woke up and did my chinese compo , i used up the whole two lesson of maths and one lesson of Biology to do finish my chinese essay . I seriously wrote super lots of words ! And ask Adam to help me copied the answer while im doing my essay . Finished my essay and just nice was next lesson , History . Totally joke , did alot of notes . Dismissed after that , went over to Kristine's house with Eunice and XiangLing . Something makes me damn fed up , shall not elaborate it . Bye readers !
♥ Tuesday, February 02, 2010
At least we once had a good memories
Im back from school ! (: Im seriously real tired today ! ): Sleep at around 12plus yesterday , woke up at 5plus by Jedrek's msg . Went to prepare and everything , bused to Kristine's house downstairs to wait for her . Waited for cab , but there's totally no cab ! So bused to Yewtee and took cab at taxi stand . Reached school just nice , and i forgot that i have assembly today -.- Went to toilet first as Kristine need to tied her hair up , dont need sing national athem and school song , so good -.- Cause i hate it . Lol . Went up to hall for our assembly after others finish their singing , had attire check today . Stand up awhile and walk around talking to Yuanxin , teacher didnt spot me and i sat down ! :D All the chinese girls with long hair have to stay back due to some reason , but i ran away and went back to class with Xiangling -.- Maths lesson after that , that teacher wrote my name on the dairy ! >;( But too bad , she wrote on the wrong date :P So nvm and continue eating in class . After maths was SS , Edison and Zuhilmi kept saying our SS teacher look like that cartoon character , Dora , and the more i look at her , the more i think so too ! Kept laughing away with Yuanxin with their jokes . The teacher even spent most of the time scolding whole class , asking people not to sit . And me and Yuanxin was the last two girls to sit because we keep laughing -.- After SS was Chemistry , i forget what i did on that lesson alrd . I think i was sleeping or being disturb by my classmates if im not wrong . After that was recess , wanted to stay in class but cant . So went to lower sec block , sat under staircase and enjoy our food with Eunice , Xiangling , Yuanxin , Jedrek , Suiyang and Gavin like those banglahs workers eating -.- Jedrek's mama cooking so nice ! :D *Thumbs up !* See Jedrek , i very good right :D We sat there and ate our food , and nobody see us cause we are at the lower sec block and we hide under the staircase , i keep kop Jedrek's food -.- And Suiyang kept making fun of my voice and say me duck ! >;( Laughing while eating , Xinyi came to find us awhile later . Slacked at staircase till bell rang and went back to class have our workshop . At first was interesting , but slowly i get bored and sleep . Keep msg in class like mad , i today got tons of msg ! Just because Suiyang kept disturb me and msg me -.- Workshop end at 2.30pm , went to canteen to have lunch with Eunice while waiting for Xinyi to be dismissed . Bused to lot with Eunice and Xinyi , went up to library , but awhile later my mother called and start nagging and shouting in the phone like so irritating ! Went back at 4plus , reached home sleep and now posting . I forgot to take money from my dad to top up my consession and money to buy my contact lens ): Howhow ? No money take bus alrd ! Gosh , i hate coins -.- Lol . I think i gotta bathe now , im hungry ! Bye peeps !
♥ Monday, February 01, 2010
Loving you wasn't easy , how i wish i was strong enough
Back from school , and now was only 4plus , so early . Because i've nowhere to go today as others have their POA lesson and some have CCA . Lesson was damn boring today , had Biology for the first lesson , was chatting and slacking around . PE next lesson , fake an excuse letter for not having PE because i dont like PE ._. But i shouldn't fake it , cause i was having my health check today and by the time i finished my health check , PE lesson was going over soon -.- Recess , didnt eat , help Xiangling and co. to buy food up to my class and stayed in class . Recess over and was mother tongue lesson , i thought i failed my test because teacher put my paper with those people who failed their test ._. And i was so tired that i fall asleep when i rest on my table . Sleep till lesson over and was English , copied lots of words for two whole lesson . Dismissed after that , nowhere to go ): But went over to have lunch with Kristine , Gina , Eunice and XiangLing at coffee shop opposite our school . And i kept kena disturb by some people cause i dont wanna go town with them ! >;( Threaten me using him somemore !! Ate finish and went back to school with XiangLing to wait for Qinyu and Sebas and others went for their POA lesson . After that bused home alone , like so damn early ! Because Xinyi have her CIP today ): Sigh , im seriously damn tired of everything !
Why you keep gin/diao me in class ?!?! >;(