♥, Zhenru @undescribablelov-e
I'll be strong and hold back my tears, because i know no matter how hard i cry , this love is not coming back anymore.
With loves,♥
Me, Myself & I
" I learned that it is the weak who are cruel , and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong . Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity. "
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♥ Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Disappointed
My results are tad bad , i thought i would pass my History , i studied so hard for this fcuking subject , and this is what i get . I got 40.5/98 for my History , wtf is this . I thought i would pass it , and how i wish teacher had marking error or whatever . Im so disappointed of myself , i dont even have the face to go home . I've got 45/100 for Maths , 20/100 for Geography . WHAT IS THIS ?! I know my Geography failed for sure , i depends on my Maths , History , Mother Tongue and Literature . Now both of it had fail , i will be retain i guess . I was so excited to see my History results , and when i got it , i wish that time could turn back , so that i wont know the marks and i can do the paper all over again . But what done is done , nothing could change the fact . Once i saw my marks , and i went back to my seats , all i do was sleep and sleep after getting back all my papers . And i wished that i wont wake up forever , i put in so much effort for this year , and i cant believe it . I wanted to cry , but i cant cry out . Sigh , meet Kristine after school as she didnt went to school , went to lot's PH as lunch . I pulled Kristine behind and i told her " kristine , i thought i can pass my history ... " And i burst out crying at lot , i cant face my parents , who trust me so much finally . Went to PH had our lunch , my dad called me , and i told him everything , i can hear that he's disappointed of me , he told me that he's so disappointed , he told me i comfirm retain , he told me wth happen to me , he told me he thought i could pass it . He told me alot of things , and i cried again . I felt that im such a failure as their daughter , i told my mother that i will pass and showed it to her . And now .. , i cant . I failed , went over to tw as Gina wanna buy her contact lens . I was pulling a long face all the way , and i walked back home alone from tw to yt . I was thinking of how to face my parents , thinking of what should i do if i retain , thinking of those effort i've put in so much , thinking of the marks i get back , thinking of lots of things . And finally i reached home , i didnt talk much today , i went in my room , sat on my bed . And i thought , when will baby be coming back , why did time pass so slow , i miss him , i need him so badly now . After that went in to my parents room and sleep , and i dont know why , i had a bad bad bad dream . I dreamt that nobody ever care for me anymore , clique was leaving me alone , baby request for a break up . What a stupid dream is this , and i told myself this is only a dream , I woke up , i called kristine immediately , she didnt pick up . And i started to have wild imagination myself , and slowly i fall asleep . My grandmother came in , and off the air-con , i was so damn fed up that i woke up and shouted at her . And then i on the air-con again , after awhile , my brother wanted to fight with me over food , as i wanted to eat it as dinner . So i woke up again and scolded him , he cried . Of course i dont give a damn to it , everybody provoke me when im in the bad mood , friends are around me to encourage and comfort me . Till now i still dont wanna talk to my brother , and my sister , went to download dont know what programme in my msn . And now my msn look so ugly , i feel like killing her , i scolded her too . Yea , i scolded almost everybody in my house . First time , i felt so shamed of myself . I dont want to retain , my eyes are so swollen now . I need a shoulder , baby , faster come back ):